Tonight, after 3 days in another city, I traveled home.
At first, the journey seemed to become as neutral as ever. A few people chit-chatting here, a few there.
A few stolen glances. Many people who immediately return to thinking.
So after settling down, I took out this laptop and started working on the bigger picture: To share our knowledge with all of you.
As I was typing, we come to a stop at the next station. People get out, people get in.
A bright young man of 74 years old comes sitting in the bench facing mine.
He notices the sticker on this laptop: Stairway to Heaven.
Our eyes lock.
There is some recognition. There is a feeling that this may turn into an interesting evening after all.
We start chatting and it is immediately clear that we can skip the mundane. We recognize that each of us possess knowledge of the mind, of the spirit.
Throughout our conversation, I recognize and acknowledge that there are still many things that I need to learn.
One of the golden nuggets of this conversation was yet another insight into how we experience pain.
Sometimes, I experience pain. In a moment. In this moment.
Many other times, I experience pain. In this moment too … yet it is merely caused, in that moment, by the surfacing of a memory.
A memory that I, for some reason, still experience as painful.
A memory that causes me to experience pain, even though the situation has long since passed.
Having a memory, that is totally fine to me.
Having the memory of feeling pain, that is totally fine to me too.
Having a memory that doesn’t effect me today, except because it effects me? That is not fine by me.
I immediately became aware of some pain that I carry in me. The memory of things that my dad told me, that I did not agree with. Today, I can explain those memories to my dad, and discuss the deeper meaning of that message.
Today I have the knowledge, strength and wisdom to dig deeper in those once painful situation.
But there are no reasons for me to experience pain now, just because it caused me pain once.
There is a clear distinction between then and now.
Let go of pain. It is only a reminder of the past.
Clear all cluttering messages, memories, thoughts and old feelings. Return to living in the here and now.
In the here and now, I can be aware of what’s coming my way. To enable all of my senses.